Saint Patrick’s Day Troubleshooting – SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to satisfy and the front of your shirt is wet.FAULT: Mouth not open when drinking or glass applied to wrong part of face.SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.FAULT: Improper bladder control.SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.SYMPTOM: Floor moving.FAULT: You are being carried out.SYMPTOM: Everyone looks hideous.FAULT: Either you haven’t had enough to drink, or they’ve flipped on the lights for last call.
