Alleged Humor – Every Time A Bell Rings, An Angel… * Spit-polishes his halo * Buys a maxi-pad with wings * Drops out of a so-called "Choir of Angels" because that’s really just a place for a bunch of diva show-offs to shine sunbeams up God’s butt * Orders a plate of "Hades Hot" Buffalo wings * Drinks a little too much of Junior’s blood and falls off a cloud * Listens to Paul McCartney sing with his band "Wings" * Takes a heavenly crap * Decides to reveal the Lord’s majesty to the masses by appearing on some aluminum siding in east Texas * Obeys his Pavlovian conditioning, and barks like a dog * Sits down for dinner * Prank calls the miserable whiners in Hell * Gets his union card * Takes the fruitcake out of the oven * Gets his wings ripped from his back, so they can be given to a more angelic and deserving angel * Tells a mortal, "Oh c’mon, jump already! I don’t got all day!"
